Intro
Has someone ever asked you what you would do if you were immortal? If not, then answer now. For me, the answer was always to find a way to not be immortal. The idea of living for eons while those I love pass away sounds terrible. Do not get me started on living with centuries of regrets. I would become the most crotchety old person who talks about how things were different in my day. Despite my objections to the concept, literature loves to explore what people or entities would do with eternal life. I am here to spotlight some of the cons of immortality.
Immortality defined
First, we must define the term “immortality.” One definition of the word is “unending existence” (Merriam-Webster). Within this definition are many varied experiences. There are immortals that feel no pain, immortals that are only vulnerable to one thing, and immortals that are vulnerable to a lot of stuff. Immortality gives people the ability to live for lifetimes and see how the world changes over time. Immortality is a unique opportunity that allows people the chance to live forever (for the most part). There is so much to do with a lifetime of forevers. You could travel across the globe, hang out with famous people before they are discovered, become endlessly wealthy, and so much more. Alongside all of those beautiful opportunities are some harsh realities like visas and passports, the internet, and taxes.
Vampires
The first immortal beings I will analyze are vampires. Vampires are blood-sucking, undead beings that can live for eternity. People can be turned into a vampire by being bit by a bat or a vampire. The fear of vampirism has been around for centuries. There are many caveats to a vampire’s immortality including being staked in the heart, sunlight, religious symbols, eating garlic, being decapitated, or getting a brick through the teeth (National Geographic, 2010). Depending on where you are from and what piece of media you are consuming, some of these caveats might not apply to your vampires. For the sake of this essay, we will assume all of them apply to all vampires.
To be a vampire is to suffer for eternity. Vampires feel a constant, insatiable hunger for blood (History.com Editors, 2024). Surprisingly, that is not my main gripe about vampires’ immortality. Vampires cannot eat one of the most delicious foods: garlic bread. There are so many variations of garlic and a bready starch: garlic naan, garlic focaccia, garlic bread rolls, bruschetta, etc. Vampires also cannot go out in sunlight. How would they be able to earn money? There is a daylight working epidemic. As a self-proclaimed night owl, there are few opportunities to work under the cover of darkness. Vampires would not be able to work an office job during the day, thus, they may have to resort to telework. In the United States, there is a push to get people back into the office due to people thinking that the COVID-19 pandemic is over (Hsu, 2023). There are fewer telework opportunities now than in 2020-21. Despite their long lives, vampires struggle and are in constant fear of death just like mortals.
Walter Bedeker
The hit horror, science fiction show The Twilight Zone featured an episode where a man, Walter Bedeker, wished for immortality. Unfortunately for this man, he made a deal with the Devil. Walter Bedeker could not be harmed by anything making him effectively immortal. The first thing he did with his new immortality was test it with dangerous activities such as jumping off buildings and standing on the train tracks. His wife was concerned about him and confronted him. During this confrontation, she fell off the side of a building and Bedeker wondered what it felt like. Later on in the show, Bedeker was convicted of a crime and was sentenced to spend the rest of his life in prison (“Escape Clause,” 2025).
Bedeker quickly became tired of the immortality. Where is the thrill of life if there is no possibility of it ending? There is something special about having the option to die. Also, life in prison really means forever if you are immortal. Now, there is also the discussion about prison abolition, but that is an essay for a different time. Frankly, the idea of living for all eternity is too expansive and might damage someone’s mind as it did with Mr. Bedeker.
Phoenix
The phoenix is an iconic visual motif that represents birth and rebirth. The legend of the phoenix says that there is a fiery bird that burns up when it becomes old and lays an egg where it is reborn. This cycle of death and rebirth makes the phoenix an immortal being. I cannot imagine waking up as a baby version of myself after dying. The phoenix has to learn how to live for an eternity. My favorite character from Dimension 20’s Fantasy High is Ayda Aguefort who is the child of a phoenix and a wizard (Ashcroft, 2024). Every time she is reborn, she must rebuild herself from the ashes of those who came before her. Although she is doing an amazing job, the viewers see how this cycle of death and rebirth takes a toll on someone’s mental health.
Conclusion
In conclusion, immortality is a cool concept, but it has its drawbacks. There is so much that someone can do with infinity before them, but everything has to line up perfectly to properly use that time. If you or someone you know is faced with the option to gain immortality, then make sure that you are getting a fair deal. The key is to make sure to negotiate before accepting immortality from someone. Three key questions to ask to ensure that you get good immortality: 1) Is this the pain free immortality?, 2) Are there traveling or income restrictions currently in place?, 3) Are there things that could kill me? Stay safe out there and live long!
References
Ashcroft, A. (2024, Jan. 30). Dimension 20’s Ayda Aguefort is the autistic character I always wanted to see. TheGamer. https://www.thegamer.com/dimension-20-fantasy-high-dnd-ayda-aguefort-autism-relatable/.
Escape Clause. (2025, Jan. 3). In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escape_Clause.
History.com Editors. (2024, Jun. 25). Vampire history. HISTORY. https://www.history.com/topics/folklore/vampire-history.
Hsu, A. (2023, Sep. 1). Remote work is harder to come by as companies push for return to office. NPR. https://www.npr.org/2023/09/01/1196731284/return-to-office-rto-hybrid-remote-work-from-home-zoom.
Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Immortality. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/immortality.
National Geographic. (2010, Feb. 22). Six ways to stop a vampire. National Geographic. https://news.nationalgeographic.org/six-ways-to-stop-a-vampire/.
Kai's Cozy Corner 
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